Episode 47

#9. Regret

Marcus Hanger couldn’t make sense of what had happened to him in just one day.

He sat dazed on the sofa. The great hall of the Noskina estate buzzed with chaos. Maids rushed around the mansion and its grounds, shouting in a frenzy, and beside him, his father—whom he hadn’t seen in months—was screeching at the top of his lungs.

It was strange. Normally, Marcus would listen to every word his father, Archibald Hanger, spoke.

But now, even with his father shouting right beside him, Marcus felt as if reality had slipped out of reach.

He rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the floor. The beautiful marble swirled before his eyes.

Marcus began calmly retracing the events from the night before.

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It had been just after lunch when he saw her again—the woman he loved more than life.

Her face was pale, but Marcus figured it was simply because she hadn’t slept. Her delicate, slender nape appeared almost pitiful—but to Marcus that day, it was unbearably enticing. When he met her in the corridor, he kissed that pale nape and grinned as she crumbled slightly and glared at him.

At lunch with his aunt, he had rambled about how cold she was to him that day, how surprisingly tasty the chilled meat was, and on and on.

When his aunt asked what on earth he liked so much about that woman, he had babbled, “Everything.” She had smiled faintly, her face drained of color, and then left for a meeting with Madam Noskina.

That evening, no one arrived to dinner. Marcus sat at the table, gazing at Logan. Logan simply shrugged—he had no idea either. A dinner without her couldn’t possibly be enjoyable. Marcus quickly ended his meal.

Well, “ended” was generous. He barely touched the food and dismissed it quickly. Practically sprinting to their bedroom, he found Elouise brushing her hair.

Grinning ear to ear, Marcus hugged her from behind. Elouise, moving the brush aside to avoid stabbing him with it, winced and smiled faintly.

“Why didn’t you eat dinner?”

“Just… didn’t feel like eating.”

“Oh, Elouise. You need to eat more. Look at your shoulders—they're so thin…”

He gently pulled up the silk robe that had slipped off her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

Elouise tensed, shrinking slightly as she looked up at him. Marcus quickly added, “Ah! Not that I’m criticizing your figure!” and kissed her other cheek. Elouise opened her mouth slowly.

“Men prefer curvier women, don’t they?”

“Oh, Elouise. I knew you’d say that. No, that’s not it. I just worry about you. You’re beautiful—any shape you are.”

“…”

“I mean it, El! I’m telling the truth,”

After a brief hesitation, Marcus whispered into her ear,

“Do you know how scared I was last night that your fragile little body would split in two because of me?”

Elouise tilted her head, not understanding at first—but then froze. Her ears turned crimson, and Marcus knew instantly that she had comprehended his indecent remark.

Yes, each time he made a move on her, seeing her squirm beneath him, Marcus had quietly panicked.

What if this tiny, fragile woman breaks because of me?

Of course, nothing like that had happened, but he was suddenly very aware of how slim she really was. Just look at her now.

“Oh my goodness!”

Elouise shouted as Marcus slipped his hands behind her neck and under her knees, lifting her up.

“See? You’re so light, someone like me can just toss you around,” he retorted, sighing.

“Put me down!”

“As you wish.”

He gently set her back onto the chair where she’d been sitting, then knelt in front of her with a soft smile.

“At this rate, even the wind could carry you away.”

“Don’t be silly. If the wind could’ve carried me off, it would’ve by now.”

“Ah! But you haven’t seen the cliffside storms. If you flew away like the girl with the green shoes in that story, I’d be too heartbroken to do anything.”

Elouise suddenly grew serious.

“If I did get carried away by the wind, would you stop eating?”

“Of course I would!”

“So without me, you’d just starve to death?”

At that, Marcus laughed with a sparkle in his eye.

“What are you saying? I wouldn’t die.”

“But if you don’t eat, you’ll die.”

“Ah, right. I’ll revise that. I’d eat and drink—but only enough to search for you. I’d scour the entire kingdom if I had to.”

“What if I disappeared forever in the wind?”

Marcus laughed aloud.

“Dandelion seeds ride the wind to plant themselves somewhere. Nothing simply vanishes. If I had to, I’d search the whole world.”

“Such grand love.”

“As grand as it gets!”

Elouise smiled weakly and set the brush down. Marcus now seriously pondered what to supply for her meal. Her face was gaunt and pale. Of course she was exhausted—she’d barely slept, and he had worn her out the night before.

“Elouise, please, I’m begging you—just eat something. I’m really worried you’ll waste away.”

She hesitated, then agreed to a few slices of orange.

“Would you have a small piece of bread for me?”

“No.”

She shrugged, and Marcus didn’t ask twice.

A maid brought in some oranges. Elouise placed a slice into her mouth and slowly chewed. She seemed unusually downcast today, so Marcus ultimately decided to help her get to bed quickly. After asking her permission, he scooped her up and carried her to the bed while she held the plate of oranges in her lap, gazing silently at him.

“Marcus.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Um, tonight…”

Elouise hesitated, but Marcus knew what she wanted to say. He smiled brightly.

“It’s fine, my love. I wasn’t planning on pestering you tonight anyway.”

She looked slightly surprised. After swallowing a piece of orange, she asked cautiously,

“…I feel awkward asking, but why?”

“Hah, El. Just look at your lips. They’re practically blue.”

Marcus sat down beside her, gently rubbing her lips with his fingers. Elouise flinched, but he kissed her lightly.

“I overdid it last night, didn’t I? I know. But if I’m being honest, what I realized last night… well, I’d be punished severely if we were at a cathedral. I finally understood why the people of Sodom chased pleasure despite divine wrath.”

“…Marcus!”

“I know. For someone like you—devout and proper—I must sound outrageous.”

He smiled again and kissed her cheek.

“But what can I do? I’m a simple man with limited words. El, you were too tempting last night.”

“Really now!”

Elouise pushed against his chest. Marcus burst into laughter, spun around like a jester, and returned holding a pink item.

“Ta-da!”

Elouise’s eyes widened. The cardigan’s body was already half-knitted. Marcus grinned.

“I was in such a good mood today, and I needed something to calm me down—so I got a lot done!”

He held it up to her body and admired it.

“Looks like I made it too big for your waist.”

Then quickly added,

“Of course, I’ll still love you when you’re 60, so I imagined you wearing this then—I made it with that in mind!”

Finally, Elouise burst into laughter.

“You liar!”

Soon, the two were kissing through their laughter. Seeing her smile for the first time that day lifted Marcus’s spirits. So, when she asked if she could sleep with Juliet that night, he gladly agreed. He fell asleep alone in the bed they had shared the night before—happy.

Though sleep didn’t come easily at first.

He lay in bed, calculating everything he could do for her. First thing that came to mind—a grand wedding. Not the rushed, small one in Cliff—but an enormous ceremony in the capital. On that day, he’d make her feel like a queen. He’d proudly present his one true love.

Her dress would be by the capital’s top designer. The ring would be new.

He’d find a diamond so large, she wouldn’t even remember that old 122-carat garbage. And her beloved daughter? Forget guardianship—he’d register her as his own and find her the finest suitor in the land.

Or better yet, who needs a suitor? The three of us can just live happily together!

Marcus chuckled to himself as sleep finally claimed him. If Elouise just enjoyed all of it, and one day came to him and said, “Oh Marcus, I love you,” he’d feel like he was flying. Just thinking about her filled his heart. It was a miracle, wasn’t it? With that thought, he drifted off.

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